Overthinking: Why It Happens and What To Do About It
By Nathan Gurry - Counsellor, Bottom-Up, Truth-Based Approach
Overthinking shows up when something inside you hasn’t fully settled. Most people interpret it as a personal flaw - “I think too much,” “I’m too in my head,” “I wish I could switch off.” But overthinking always has a reason. It’s a protective response, not a defect.
When the system senses uncertainty, pressure, emotional discomfort, or something that simply didn’t feel right, the mind steps in and tries to make sense of it. It replays conversations, imagines outcomes, and scans for danger because a part of you is still searching for clarity or safety. It doesn’t ramp up to punish you. It ramps up because something important hasn’t been fully understood.
In this way, overthinking isn’t the problem - it’s the messenger.
Why Overthinking Really Starts
If you look closely, overthinking usually begins at the exact moment something inside you didn’t land well. Maybe you agreed to something you didn’t want to do. Maybe you felt dismissed in a conversation but didn’t acknowledge it. Maybe you pushed yourself past your limit, ignored your own signals, or tried to “power through” when your system wanted you to slow down.
The mind then tries to clean up the emotional mess. It tries to solve internally what didn’t get addressed externally. And because the system is still holding something unresolved, the mind keeps working long after you wish it would stop.
Overthinking is your system trying to tell you the truth about how something affected you.
Why You Can’t Just Turn It Off
People often try to fight their mind when it gets noisy. They tell themselves to stop thinking, distract themselves, breathe, or “stay positive.” The problem is that overthinking doesn’t stop because you want it to. It stops when the protective pattern no longer needs to run.
If a part of you still feels uncertain, unheard, pressured, or unsafe, your mind keeps looping because the job isn’t finished. It’s like trying to silence a smoke alarm without removing the smoke. You can press the button, but it’ll start again the moment the system senses danger.
When the truth becomes clear and acknowledged - even quietly and privately - the mind finally relaxes on its own.
What Overthinking Is Protecting
In sessions, the moment that changes everything is when a client realises, often with relief, “My mind isn’t overactive - it’s trying to protect me.”
Underneath the noise, the truth is usually simple, such as:
“I didn’t feel heard.”
“I felt pressure to be okay when I wasn’t.”
“I was scared of disappointing someone.”
“I felt something was off and I ignored it.”
“I’m overloaded and pretending I’m fine.”
When this deeper reality becomes conscious, the mental looping softens - not because you forced anything, but because the system no longer needs the noise to keep you safe.
What Actually Helps
Instead of fighting your thoughts, the most effective way to work with overthinking is to shift from the mind’s analysis into the body’s truth. You don’t need to think your way out of it. You need to understand what triggered it.
The simplest place to begin is to pause and notice what’s happening in your body: tightness in the chest, heaviness in the stomach, pressure behind the eyes, a collapse in energy. These sensations usually appear before the thoughts. They point to what the system is actually responding to.
When you ask gently, “What feels unresolved about this?” the real answer often arises naturally. Not with force - just with space.
And that answer is almost always quieter and more honest than the thinking mind expects.
Once that truth is acknowledged, the system starts to settle. Overthinking reduces not because you controlled it, but because the protective alarm no longer needs to sound.
When It’s Been Happening for a Long Time
If you’ve been stuck in overthinking for months or years, it usually means the pattern has been doing its best to protect you for a very long time. This doesn’t mean you’re broken or “too analytical.” It means you’ve been carrying things alone, and your system hasn’t had the support or space to feel fully safe.
Counselling helps because it gives the system something it rarely gets in day-to-day life: a slower pace, clarity, and someone who can help you track what your mind is actually trying to resolve. When your system feels seen and understood, the protective patterns begin to unwind on their own.
The Key Takeaway
Overthinking isn’t something to fix or suppress. It’s something to understand.
It’s your system speaking in the only language it knows - repetition, analysis, scanning, replaying - until the deeper truth comes into focus. Once that truth is recognised, the mind no longer has to work so hard. The thoughts quieten naturally, not through effort but through clarity.
If overthinking is wearing you down, it doesn’t mean you’re lost or doing life wrong. It means your system is ready for something to finally land.
If you’d like support
If overthinking has been running your life for a long time, working with someone who can help you slow everything down and understand what your system is really trying to tell you can make a profound difference.
You’re welcome to book a session online or in person whenever you’re ready:
https://www.healthymindforlife.com.au/bookings